I might have to add to the universal emotions that we have talked about. There seems to be one in church among all parents and children. That is the 'you're going to get it when we get home' look. The closed eyes, the wrinkle of the nose the eyebrows drawn together and lips pulled tight. That is what I observed many times over within a hour between parents and children in the meeting.
The child was being a little louder than normal and both parents shot the same look at him at the same time. The father reached out and tapped him on the shoulder, not to lightly I might add, to make sure he had his full attention. I almost busted out laughing because it brought back so many memories of my youth and my parents. After all this time, the look is still there.
The second family I observed when it was time for a prayer to be said, they showed their children by their example. They folded their arms, and started to put their heads down while looking at their children expecting them to mimic what they were doing. The children followed the lead and did what the parents did including the looking out of one eye to see if they were paying attention. Modeling is a very effective form of NVC if it is understood by all participants.
The different NVC'S that I observed included:
facial expression
Kinesics:
eyes
arms (being folded)
legs(being crossed)
gestures-(modeling the behavior for prayer)
Haptics- father tapping son on shoulder
Journal #2
I have to say watching people over the last couple of weeks I have become more aware of what they are really doing. What their emotions are really saying compared to what they are verbally saying. I see quite a bit of the universal emotions displayed, something that I never gave much thought to until last week. I think the biggest thing I have experienced this week is the learning of my triggers by observing the actions of others.
When I was watching the family in church who was getting mad at their children for not acting the way they thought he should, it immediately brought many memories and emotions back to me. Some of them were frightening, while others were amusing. The most frightening one was the not knowing what was going to happen when I got home, but I knew it was going to be something bad. Sometimes it was a grounding or a lecture, other times weren't so nice. Physical approaches were used to punish me and the pain it caused still haunts me today. Not the physical pain, but the emotional pain.
I know the "you're going to get it" look that you are talking about, and I'm probably guilty of giving to my own children more than once. :) Today I found myself analyzing the nvc that was going on during my staff meeting at work. I need to practice being able to observe while still listening to what is being said. Especially when my boss asked me a question, and I had been distracted by the pencil twirling my co-worker was doing. I was somewhat embarrassed, but was able to cover it up quickly.
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