Journal 4

This week was very interesting and insightful.  I knew we all had social norms and that some depended on your culture and background, but I find it fascinating that we are able to learn and know these rules without necessarily being told.  The expectancy violations theory really helped me to understand why people may react the way they do and why people might give different expressions to what we do.  Once a violation occurs, we automatically start thinking about the relationship, context, and reward or punishment that is necessary for action.  It takes us only a moment to decide what we want to do, but our action can create either a positive or negative outcome.

It is great to learn all of this and then to be able to apply and observe it in person.  The use of proxemics is another nonverbal I see all the time.  Different spaces and distances are acceptable to some people and completely unacceptable to others.  It is a cultural difference, but also age, gender, status, etc.  I know I can get a lot closer to my mother than I could or even should with another lady I see on the street or in the store.  I give my sister hugs and I can stand right next to her without her feeling uncomfortable, but I could never do that with a random girl because the four zones used in proxemics.

Handshakes and eye contact are very powerful and useful nonverbals.  I have always been told and taught to give a strong handshake because I want to seem confident and assertive.  It is interesting how a simple handshake can tell you a lot about a person.  I find the different types of eye behaviors are useful when trying to read someone’s emotions or look past a lie.  It also is very reliable to look at the eyes because we have very little control over them.